


Medicine

by menswera



Category: Adam Hann - Fandom, George Daniel - Fandom, John Waught, Matty Healy - Fandom, Ross Macdonald - Fandom, The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Break Up, Drug Use, M/M, the 1975 (band) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:03:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/menswera/pseuds/menswera
Summary: In which the 1975 broke up five years ago do to Matty's problem with drugs and alcohol, and his toxic behavior pushed everyone away except for George.





	1. The end

Let's start with how everything ended, the chain of events that lead us to... whatever this is.

Matty was drunk, which was not a rare occurrence, eyes glued to the tv screen everything around him was chaos, it was thirty minutes before a show everyone was getting ready setting up all of the instruments and the screams from the crowd getting louder. Matty! Matty! They called. It seemed so ridiculous how someone could ever look up to him or was even excited to see him, he is what people should avoid being. He became such a warped version of the wonderful, talented person he once was.

He took another sip of the glass of wine, so use to the taste it was no longer bitter on his tongue. someone blocking the tv, he screamed angry before realizing it was George with his 'I'm worried about you' face, upset and disappointed. A grunt coming from the shorter boy getting up and heading to the bathroom to avoid the same speech about how he has to take care of himself and how this is not just for him but for the band and the fans. In all honesty, he didn't care about the band, he didn't give a rat's ass about the fans, this started out as something he enjoyed but then turned into something that he had lost complete interest in. This was just like school, he knew that he was obligated to go but still complained about it as if that would change anything.

He was about to close the door and successfully escape from the only words that had any importance in his mind but George just had to block it with his gigantic feet.

"Matt what are you doing? You have less than thirty minutes to get ready and you're already drunk" Matty look down in guilt he had fallen to a new low he didn't even knew existed. "I thought you were actually changing, but that was my fault for just imagining that's one day your word would mean anything."

"Don't say that George, I am changing I just need a little boost to give a better show, you know for the fans." Adam and ross were running behind them to go get dressed.

"Good news everyone Matty actually cares about other people and how they feel!" He said sarcastically, throwing his arms up.

"Shut up you guys, I'm sick of your fucking arguments that always interfere with the show, it's always the same: you don't talk to each other for two days then we have to cancel interviews, and tell the label we aren't ready with the new album because the princess and her boyfriend are non-stop fighting!" Adam screamed "and it's the same shit every time I'm sick of it, have you even started writing any new songs?" Ross placing a hand on his shoulder whispering something in his ear making him calm down.

"I-I... no... well It's just that I haven't had the time you know, so I think another month or so" he tucked his hands in his front pockets and concentrated on the fans shouting 'MATTY, MATTY, MATTY' it got louder and louder in his head, he couldn't hear anything else but that. Adam looking infuriated his mouth kept moving and everyone around looked scared but he didn't hear anything. Adam just sighed and flipped him off before leaving to take his place on stage, Matty's eyebrows drew together and he was thinking about asking someone around him what had just happened but didn't do much about it.

Matty still not ready and completely forgetting the lyrics to every song that belonged to him, smashed the cup on the floor, glass shattering across the floor, and drinking directly from the bottle now in an almost impressive five minute he finished most of it. Someone from the crew whose face was unfamiliar was now screaming at him to go on stage and leaning down to pick up the broken glass with a very pissed off expression on his face.

He slowly walked on the stage forgetting they were at the highlight of their carrier. Turning to look at the crowd and listening to the screams even louder 'MATTY, MATTY, MATTY' it was all so close. Everything was pitch black with just static being played on screens behind them, in a few seconds there would be incandescent rectangles above them and 'Love me' would start to play, he knew all of this by memory but for some reason tonight was terrifying and his mind was clouded. He held on tightly to the mic aquiver with fear, his stomach aching and vision blurring he counted to three and the opening riff started playing. He tried to do his iconic little dance but all he could do was shake his head and stumble across the stage getting strange looks from his bandmates.

He had already missed his queue and when he tried to sing nothing but out of tune mumbles came out causing everyone to stop playing. Matty looked mad about this and ran back to the center of the stage. "What's wrong guys why did you stop...we-we were having a good time. Right Guys?" he got a roar back from the crowd thinking this is a joke. The ache in his stomach returning and his head now turning. "Holdup guys... I'm feeling funny" he chuckled he sat down throwing the mic to the side making an incredibly unpleasant sound as it hit the ground, he covered his mouth then went to the side of the stage to empty the contents of his stomach in front of more than 18,000 people. 

"Much better, so who's ready to start?" this time getting no response and a few people from backstage running up to Matty asking him if he's okay or if he needed help. 

He just cleaned his mouth with the sleeve of his dirty sweater and just got up as if nothing had happened "Oh I'm fine, leave me alone" earning laughter from the crowd so they tried to continue and they had to skip that song and continued with 'UGH!', the same thing happened nonsense and mumbling followed by giggles and apologies. This caused a lot of the people to leave the venue but that didn't worry Matty in the slightest, he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and made his way behind the drum kit and put his hand all around George's lower stomach, causing him to blush a bright red. Matty looked up and smirked "Don't worry love I'm looking for your lighter" he nodded and threw him at him clearly angry. 

"unbelievable" adam whipered as he took off his guitar and got off stage followed by Ross and later George. Matty was very thrown off by this taking a drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke warm up his lungs before letting it out and turning back to the audience seeing angry and sad faces from everyone some people even crying because of how exciting they were, this made matty feel a stong pressure on his chest and the feeling of his legs giving in. Hands shaking, he had let everyone down again.


	2. Quitting is for the weak and we are the weakest

He stared at the sea of people in the crowd for a little more that ten minutes the screaming started:

"What the fuck man?"

"Are you high again?"

"Play Antichrist!"

"This is bullshit, play something!"

And a already emotional Matty silently helped everyone beat him up, reminding himself of the insignificant creature that is Matthew Timothy Healy; someone who refuses help because of his pride, someone blinded by his ego, a selfish person who doesn't care enough about his friend to take care of himself, someone who doesn't deserve the privilege of wasting oxygen. Sadness was a regular thing for him, wanting to die was a casual thought.

He ran off stage in tears meeting up with the rest of the band backstage, theye were trying to calm Adam down he was screaming (but that had been very common as of late) cursing at everyone who was in his way, once they noticed that Matty was there the entire place went quiet Adam got up and tried to leave the room before he punched matthew in the face but was convinced to stay by a concered Ross. 

"Well this was just what we needed" adam said sarcasticly

"Look i'm so sorry..."

"no, no this is just what we needed, we get to the highlight of our carrier and you decid that it's a good idea to get drunk right before the show." there was a long pause that was full of bitterness. "And you know matthew you always do this, We finally have something that we all love, something that we're pasionet about but you always find a way to ruin everything. And on top of it all you're crying, OH POOR YOU"

"that's enough" george interrupted trying to get adam to sit down because he was getting too close to Matty with clenched fists.

"Is it? because i think I still have a lot to say to him, you always treat him like the victim do you realize what he did right? he ruined our lives, once again, but you always seem so okay with everything that he does. It's like you're in love with him or something" 

george's cheeks turned a bright red and began mumbling non sense, everyone in the room now extreamly uncomftrable it only took a few interchanged glances to know what was going on, a lull covered the room and it was nothing but akward. 

"I honestly don't give a flying fuck about what's going on with you guys but you need to stop taking his side. He does not care about you, get that through your head." Ross added "Look Matt, I love you, I really do but I've had more than enough of your bullshit. Can you not see it's hurting all of us, not just you, at least try to think about the consequences of your actions for once. "

"Leave him alone he's had about enough" George took Matty in a tight hug while he cried in his shoulder "we can talk about it tomorrow when we're all rested and our ideas are well thought out, not just spit out shit to hurt each other" 

"Did you not just hear what Ross told you? Are you stupid or just playing to be stupid? He got intoxicated right before a show on purpose, forgot the songs, ruined a show and threw up on a huge speaker we now have to replace. He's in no way shape or form the victim here" adam was now extremely angry, mean words building on his tongue ready to be thrown at George and Matty. 

They heard Jaimie's voice amplified by a microphone, he was talking to the upset fans that had been waiting for hours to just see their faces and listen to their music in person, they were willing to spend money on something they could've done free in the comfort of their home threw a screen. He said something along the lines of 'The band is so sorry, Matty is feeling under the weather so they will have to cancel some shows' no one would believe that bullshit, they all saw how bubbly and goofy he was before getting sick, and with the intense fans always having different conspiracies and questions they knew that they wouldn't hear the end of it.

Matty could picture the news all over twitter and spread across instagram, stupid captions accompanied by embarrassing pictures, and maybe tumblr too, some gifs and edits with one of his many quotes promoting his bad decision making as an edgy way to live your life and challenge authority. 'What a role model, you sure as hell are a productive member of society!' He thought to himself. 

"Great, now we'll have to cancel some shows. Jaime is going to kill us when he finds out we haven't even started writing the new album, what the hell are we going to do?" Adan shifted from anger to distress and sadness in seconds, eyes looking glossy and tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. 

"Fan-fucking-tastic now Adam's crying, look guys we just need some time off, this is just the stress of being on the road it will wear off in a few days and we'll all be perfectly fine. Now i think this is the right moment to just breath and help Matty with his song writing" George tried to stay positive while everything around him crumbled and took him down with it. He had never been so desperate for a miracle or death to save him from a situation. Ross just nodded, eyes also threatening to spill tears so overwhelmed with everything that was all of a sudden hitting him, after a while of nothing but sniffs and silence Matty spoke. 

"D-dont you guys think it's time?" He got out of George's embrace and faced everyone ,tracks of dried tears on his cheeks.

"What are you talking about? The show was cancelled after your little accident, there's no one out there." Adam mentioned confused.

"Not that, I mean... don't you guys think it's time to... quit, get normal lives, go back to school, die on the street from mysterious causes. Do something that isn't this or at least not here, not with each other." 

-

#### And in other news the world wide known English band The1975 broke up leaving thousands of fans devastated, lead singer Matthew Healy says "They're all great guys an I love them all deeply but the music scene was all just too much for all of us. We hope you all understand and know that we will be forever grateful for your support, we love you all so much." I actually saw them live once, not bad actually, Other members of the band have not commented on the situation, we tried to talk to Adam Hann, guitarist of the band, and he declined to be interviewed. We will be playing some of their biggest hits in memory of this band so stay tuned.

#### 


	3. i was never very fond of cigarettes

...::Five years later::...

 

"You look ravishing tonight love" Olly said jokingly, kissing Matty's hand.

"As always, dipshit. Why did you ask me to come? You told me it was a life or death situation so I got here as fast as I could." his voice shaky and pausing to catch a breath as if he had been running.

"it is, I need your help. I need you to hang out with me " he said.

Matty looked around the bar he could tell this was another one of Olly's many attempts to get him out of his house and do something other than cry, smoke and drown in self pity. It was a bar in the middle of nowhere, that way the few cameras that still cared about him wouldn't be able to bother him or ask about what happened to the band years ago. "Olly....please don't, I know you mean well but it, it won't work mate." he laughed Olly not being even slightly amused. 

"Well you can't blame me for caring? You are very important to me Matt and I would die if you were to be found behind a dumpster having overdosed on heroin or something knowing that it could have been prevented, It would just kill me. And I won't let you kill yourself like that, at least not in front of me. You could start by cutting off the cigarettes you always reek of smoke." He took a sip of his beer and slammed it hard on the table, getting everyone's attention. "I'm sorry, let me get you a beer" Matty smiled and ordered his drink but the smile on his face quickly faded as he heard the introductory riff of 'Chocolate' playing from one of the speakers and the small screen on the wall playing with image of ross, adam, George and himself driving through the rainy night in london in their iconic black and white aesthetic. He rolled his eyes and looked over at Olly, who was dancing and singing along to the tune with that lovely voice of his. 

"I hate this song" they heard someone say from the back. 

"Me too" Matty replied tilting the bottle high, the bartender returned with another beer looking a little too happy, maybe he had recognized him and maybe he had played the song. "I didn't order another one" Matty said looking confused. 

"Oh, this one is on the house. Don't worry about it Mr Healy" 

Ah, there it was. He wanted to tell the kid to fuck off, or maybe act like he had made a mistake but it was just an excited fan-boy giving him free alcohol, so he decided to not be too hard on him, he even faked a smile and held up a peace sign for the photo he asked, when he hugged him the boy was shaking and remembered meeting fans on a daily basis, it felt nice to meet the people that pay your rent and your unhealthy habits. 

Once the fan returned to the back of the bar and he had seemingly forgot Matty was there the next song started playing. It was one of his favorite songs he ever wrote; Sex. God he looked like shit with the sides of his head buzzed off, why didn't anyone tell him? And they all looked very passionate about that moment, even though the camera was fixed most of the time on Matty the few seconds the other members had the spotlight they did a hell of a performance. They also all looked so young and fresh, especially George, he thought about him every day. It flooded him with sadness to think about it but he couldn't help it, they used to be extremely close and he had never loved anyone like he had once loved George, as a friend of course. 

Olly got a bit carried away with the singing and was now shouting but this wasn't a problem, his beautiful silky smooth voice slipped from between his glossed lips making everyone stop and look at the boy give a heart filled performance of a song about blowjobs and fucking, truly beautiful. They all clapped at the end, Matty did too.

There were some really nice memories of the band in his basement, four edgy teens writing mediocre songs about angst and hormones. One of the things he loved the most was hanging out with George when everyone else finally left his house, they would watch tv and order a lot of junk food sometimes watch movies in Matty's bed in their underwear, while George joked about how ridiculous the idea of having a band was and also contemplate life's tougher questions such as 'What truly happens after death?' and then get sad about not obtaining the answers, but it was okay because Matty was there to say something stupid to cheer him up and temporarily suspended the toxic thoughts.

Olly bowed and thanked his small audience, when he looked over at Matty he had sadness in his eyes and would not stop staring at the screen showing George, once it went black he turned back to Olly and pushed aside the empty glass bottle so he could have the other one.

"You miss him don't you?" He spoke in a very soft voice.

"I...Yes, yes I do" he sighed "a lot" he leaned closer to the bar and searched in his pocket to see if he had enough money to get drunk and was glad to find a few folded bills. "This'll be about enough" he mumbled to himself .

"Well, try to cheer up mate. If it makes you feel slightly better you have me, and I'm not going anywhere" Olly smiled and pushed him playfully, finishing his beer.

Matty faked a smile to get his only friend to make him feel like he appreciated his support, but it didn't make him feel better actually quite the contrary. God why didn't he just stay home moping around and smoking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is kind of short, sorry. have a nice day!


	4. 4: Old friends feel like heavy stoneson your back

The next morning the sun crept into the room through the glass and managed to seep through the curtains illuminating the entire room, almost instantly the alarm that Matty forgot to silence went off waking him up, groaning in response and hiding under the thin sheets. After hitting snooze multiple times he received a call from Jaime. He had been one of the few people that stayed with him, after the band broke up he asked Matty if he was interested in starting a solo carrier, Matty of course flipped him off and said he never wanted to do anything similar again, but later he would find himself with lyrics and melodies bouncing around his head or he would have this strange itch to preform so he called Jaimie and in a few hours he was his manager again.

He let the call go to voicemail his daily hangover needed to be prioritized. A second call came in and Matty just let it ring again, by the third call he knew that he had to answer and with a very annoyed tone he picked up.

"What do you need?"

"Good morning Matty!" he screamed his voice ringing in my ears, he's such a jerk.

"Be quite goddammit, why are you screaming?"

"I'm just really excited to hear your new material, you know the album that was supposed to go out this year. Want to start planning the album cover? You also need to give me the names of the songs you think will be good singles, when is a good time to meet?" Matty looked disgusted by the simple mention of work, he hung up and went back to sleep.

The calls continued and it didn't seem like they were stopping anytime soon so he had no choice but to pick up.

"Hi matty, I think you hung up on accident but as I was telling you, new material. Since you've experienced a large amount of success with the band I can get you to collaborate with someone of your choice, or we can get you in a relationship"

"Fuck off" Matty spat, bitter memories being brought up about the breakup with Gaby. The screaming, the fighting, the crying and the 'meaningless' hook ups they had but stopped after two months. "None of that relationship shit" he looked around confused and saw someone else's clothes thrown on the floor and began to panic, he tried to remember last night but everything after blowing every last cent he had on alcohol and food was a massive blur.

"I understand why you might be upset about it but it could really help your carrier.  
Matty?" Jamie asked worried.

There was a noise in the kitchen and he slipped out of bed to put on T-shirt and made his way downstairs.

"Matty, are you still there?"

He didn't answer and looked over the corner but he couldn't see anything, he could only listen to someone whistle a familiar song. He breathed in deeply and prepared himself for the worst of scenarios. To his surprise it was Olly wearing one of the many shirt Matty had stolen from George this one in particular being fron the last time they saw each other.

"I'll call you later" he whispered into the phone.

He sat on the counter and said good morning to the boy who was cooking. And said the first thing that came to his head.

"Did we sleep together?"

Olly, a little shocked by the question answered in a soft tone. 

"No, well yes, but we didn't screw." Matty nodded understanding absolutely nothing. "You don't remember do you?" the smaller boy shook his head in response "Ugh, you got really hammered last night I think you remember that part then you started talking about how no one deserves you, then you started crying and screaming about how you miss George. I had to drag you home because you were making a fool out of yourself and telling people about how you used to... Mess around with him." Olly said awkwardly.

"Oh god, please stop" Matty's cheeks were red with embarrassment, he knew he had a loose mouth when drunk but not that loose.

"Wait it gets better, So after that you kept on telling me about him and you were still crying so when I dropped you on your bed you asked me if I was going to leave like everyone else, I told you I had to sleep so you told me I could sleep here. Then out of the blue you said that adam was a prick and that he had a small dick."

"I don't regret that last part but why are you wearing that?"

"I asked you if I could borrow something to wear because skinny jeans can get uncomfortable, and you said I could wear anything for the first drawer. Why do you have those they're all like three sizes too big? Anyway, you told me to lay down with you for a little while because you were feeling sad so I stayed and here I am telling you this story."

"Well thanks for staying, it means a lot."

"I never would've guessed it" he said pulling out two plates from the top cabinet and laying them beside Matty.

"Never would've guessed what?" he grabbed the box of cereal and began eating it. "Oh that smell nice"

"That you would swing that way" Olly smirked at him as he served an omelet on each plate and reaching for two cups to pour coffee into. "Careful it's hot" He warned Matty handing it to him.

"I'm not gay" He whispered sipping from his cup and burning his tongue. "Fuck" he screamed.

"Told you to be careful, if you're not gay are you bi? Pan maybe? And don't you dare make that horrible joke about being attracted to pans"

They moved everything to the big wooden table with glass in the center that Matty never used, he jumped off the counter and helped Olly. They both sat down and began to eat breakfast.

"None of that" Matty said in between bites of food.

"What?"

"I'm none of that bi, or pan thing I don't like labels"

Olly nodded stabbing the food and taking it to his mouth. "I respect that."

Matty went to the kitchen and came back with a small silver object that Olly couldn't recognize at first but when he got closer he saw it was a flask. Olly groaned and rolled his eyes.

"What?" Matty asked in annoyance.

"Nothing" Olly got up and took his plate upstairs.


End file.
